Currently I am growing some misc tomatoes, pattypan squash, armenian cucumber, pole beans, Fairy Tale eggplant, a cantelope, and some misc peppers, and some carrots, purple haze and a little round cute one, I will post pics of my little plot, not very well organized but at least I am growing stuff this year. I love it because my son and I go out and discover stuff. It is great learning for both of us. I never grew anything as a young person and didn’t really get into gardening till about 8 years ago. Oh my I kinda get a bit high or drunk when i am outside foolin around, or looking up garden stuff on the internet, lol my husband says it is my porn, garden porn ooh!!
5th of 5 – hmm what makes me miscellanyme October 26, 2007
I am sitting here with my vodka and cranberry juice drink (ok it’s the third) and am trying to think of what to write for this blog entry. I am sitting with my mother and she says write what makes me miscellanyme. I don’t know. It is all of the uncohesiveness in my life. All the bullshit things that I have deemed important and unimportant. But they are all events in my life, they are not what I am.
Who am I? That is the million dollar question, right? Are you the summation of what has happened to you? By the time you figure all of that out are you old and dead? My littany of trauma has ended (I hope). The peaceful life I may have wished for is here. But now who am I? I am no longer who I was. Should I take the cheap shot that many have taken and discuss the f—ed up life I have had?
I always wanted to write. My earliest memory is of me wanting to be a famous AUTHOR, but why? To say something important. But when I go back and read these things I thought were important, they are stupid. They make me blush at the pathetic banality of them all. And how do you become a great writer, except by sacrifice. I sacrifice myself. For all of the stupidity. But I will not improve because I do not know how to throw myself into the fire and become pure from that cleansing. I will always hedge at the corners knowing the greatest fire is for those consumed. And I am never consumed. And this is my final of the 5 and how sad it is.
4th of 5 – mmm smoking October 26, 2007
Ok, I love smoking. Passionately. Smoking for me is associated with very good memories. Smoking and reading. What could be better. When you get to the end of a good book and you have smoked a pack over a night and you are gritty and dirty and zooming to the end of the book, you savor each cigarette for about 2 secs, then forget you even lit it and puff intensely away.
Even better throw a bubble bath and wine in the mix and it is pure happiness. Especially in the winter when you make a good hot bath and crack the window to let the icy air in. Getting drunk, smoking cigy after cigy and racing through a book. mmm The beauty.
I still love smoking and I don’t even smoke. Haven’t for three plus years. When I am at a bar and someone lights up or even a day at work when I go down with the smokers, I love the smell. It is rare when I have a cigarette Nazi moment, the whole smoking ritual is so wonderful. Breathing like a dragon and playing with the cigarette, knowing you have 7 ish minutes of enjoyment, bitching about work, reading a book, drinking a beer or just b.s.ing. Oh how I love smoking!!
3rd of 5 – On having a boy October 25, 2007
Before I ever got pregnant I had always wanted a girl. I don’t know why I just did. I am not particularily girly (ok, at all) neveliked Barbie, makeup, hair stuff, clothes or crying. So when I became pregnant I realized I had been wrong all those years. I wanted a boy. No PMS, crying for inexplicable reasons, hair problems, teenage drama. I know I will have some drama with my son, everyone does, but he seems to be a pretty reasonable individual. (ok fingers crossed, he is going to be 3 in December and the beginnings of the terrible 2’s started a little after he turned 2 put have since tapered off, hopefully no aweful 3’s)
The thing I really didn’t understand was that boys were inherently different than girls. The things that captivate his attention are boy things. We don’t try to push for him to play or watch certain things (maybe we do without realizing it) but when he was a baby if a pretty girl would come on tv he would stop and watch. Then Jonathan (DH) watched Star Wars. It was all over. He has pretty much talked non-stop about Star Wars, played it, pretended to be the different characters, had untold number of light saber battles and there is no end in sight.
He watches tv with his Granny a lot. Silly little cartoons and stuff and he may talk about them briefly but not play them all day long.
He saw some karate and I saw his little boy radar kick in and wondered, if he watched the show how soon it would be before Darth Vadar was doing all kinds of kicks and jumps and general karate things.
2nd of 5 – Car Hackers in Wichita, KS-And it’s a good thing October 22, 2007
I just read an article that made me smile. Now I am American. I like fast cars. I don’t want to be cramped, though small cars can be cute. I worry about the environment. I always believed that when I went to buy a new car I would try to get a hybrid(price dependent). Then I drove one. YUCK!! My husband and I drove a Honda Civic Hybrid. When I first got in it I thought. Oh my, we are gonna buy this. It was so nice. Then I drove it. It sucked. BAD. There was no power. It was hard to see out of. Nothing at all in the driving experience is what I thought it was going to be. I thought it was just me so my husband drove back. He hated it. We ended up with a Mazda 3. LOVE IT.
Now for the article. A guy here in Wichita is car hacking. He is taking jet engines and big diesel engines and putting them in cars/HUMMERS/Jeeps and getting crazy fuel economy and fewer emissions. He is mixing diesel and just about any other fuel out there. Not just pumped diesel either. Oil from the deep fat fryer of you local restaurant. The funny things about this are 1. he is not an engineer. 2.he did not graduate from high school. 3.he uses GM parts. He is doing what the Big 3 keep whining can’t be done for the American market and he is using their parts. That if bloody fantastic.
I love truly innovative people. People who understand things instinctively and know what they can do. Even if it is the impossible. Too busy figuring out how to make it work and working out the bugs of the impossible to worry about weather or not it is possible. This man is one of those.
Hell a Hummer that can go 0-60 in 5 seconds and get 60 mpg is the type of Green car I am looking for!
http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/120/motorhead-messiah.html
1st of 5 October 20, 2007
HMMM….. What interests me and what should I write here. Well I think the name of the blog kinda says it all. It is really about miscellaneous tidbits of my life. So these next few assignments will be about the different things I feel passionate about. It is funny I was talking to my husband earlier tonight and I used to feel passion about so many things. I couldn’t envision a life for my self without hard core music. Primus, Ministry, Metallica, Dead Kennedy’s, Suicidal Tendencies etc…, moshing and headbanging. Thinking of those bands gives my heart a little happy skip. And death to me if I was ever to sit on the sidelines like a wus. Do you know how many concerts I have gone to and not one time gotten in the pit? Pathetic. As I have aged I don’t feel those passions anymore. This getting older thing seems to be sucking me dry. I loved drinking and smoking and drugs and music and hate and now it is different. The anger that was so ingrained in me is gone. I am kinda sad about that.
And it is weird learning to love without hate. My son, wow who would have thought. I always heard having kids changes everything. I didn’t believe them. He didn’t really change me but completed me. I had lost that anger and hate of my youth and was just happy, but in kind of a meaningless way. Every day seems better and better with this whole parental thing. My thoughts on the kind of mother I would be were definitely different than the reality. I kinda figured I would go ballistic a lot and loose my temper but I don’t really do that.
I used to think God hated me and didn’t really get the whole love thing. I read the New Testemant a few times to prove to my husband how much God hated women and how horrible it all was. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t how I envisioned at all. It was simple. It was true. It wasn’t all silly shit like angels flapping around and harps and stupid smiles and soft voices. It was hard and real and dirty and heartbreaking. And my hate started slipping away
Pics from Cindy’s visit October 19, 2007
Taken with my camera phone. Not the best quality but fun to see.
This is my post for school October 18, 2007
Using the three methods of website authoring has been interesting. I have done a little hand coding in the past and had created a blog and created this blog earlier in the semester. Of the 3 probably the simplest has been this WordPress blog. Flipping through the Presentations tab is nice. Choose a theme and some widgets and you have a great blog with things properly spaced and if you don’t like the chosen theme you can just choose a different one. It makes it very easy to find one you like and go with it. Want a calender? Add it. Spending 5 or 10 minutes to choose an appealing layout is fabulous. Learning about the ability to post in the future, how to add categories and just some of the various features of WordPress was nice. It seems from the limited amount I have used it to be a very straight forward way of setting up a site. No real knowledge is necessary. Just basically a point and click. If you want to get more involved in the site it lets you customize it however you want so it can be as complicated or as simple as you want.
Dreamweaver, or any WYSIWIG application, is fascinating because it simplifies things so much when trying to create a custom web page. Blog sites are very nice for their simplicity but WYSIWIG’s offer so much more. You can very simply create a whole web page using the visual editor then go into the code view and modify things, if necessary. The ability to add tables with just a click of a button and create CSS style sheets with almost point and click simplicity is very nice. It fills the code in for you, which is fabulous. I have the worst time just typing along and forgetting letters in words or / in end tags. I have beat my head against a wall about some silly thing like a misspelled word or a forgotten closing tag and Dreamweaver seems to make that much less likely. It is also nice because it has the validator built right into it. Just a couple of clicks and the site can have a css attached to it, validated and then upload. I really like the fact you can see everything as you go.
Hand coding for me is the worst. I constantly make typos, forget code and cannot “see” what I am creating. I have no idea if it is going to look decent or horrid. The ability to see what I am doing is more comforting to me. I assume as I become more confidant in coding I won’t mind hand coding but I really prefer the way I am learning to code with a WYSIWYG.
